Shortcut to Mushrooms

As you already know, I have decided to do something about this excess flab and being single. Firstly, here's a report on the former:

Beta no girl will marry you! Beta if not for anyone, do it for yourself. Beta, paet atle bimari nu mothership. Beta...... ohh shhuut the fuccccccccccccccck up! arrrrrrrggggggghhh!!
Multiply this feeling into seven years and then tell me how loud should my scream be. Actually it's vice versa too. Since this is regarding my father, I have been a very noble kid and tried to sympathise and sometimes empathise with the state of his mind. After all, my father had an adipose infested monster as a son on whom the innumerable man hours invested at this evenly rounded heir, just bounced off the thick walls of fat (heavily fortified that). Love you dad. Never gave up on me that man. God bless. But, aaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh! doesn't he get the point?
The point is that i never really found the motivation to carry on with this thing. But things changed this morning. I woke up with a dream, and things just fell into place. In a matter of seconds i knew exactly what had to be done.

Anyway this good noble beta has finally answered his father's 'constant vigilance' if i can call that and decided to finally do something about it. Yes, the beta is now on a diet. He woke up this morning and decided it was D-Day. A marched off, like he'd been preparing for this from ages, head high in the air, nose trying to hide deep within him avoiding the morning smell of breakfast, with grit and determination, tells his mommy dearest his plans and taadaa, just like that stops eating everything that could be fattening. He storms into office expecting nothing to hamper his boyish spirits and reveals the master plans to his up close and personal colleagues. Once done, he boldly closes his eyes, pride seeping in at every moment of the brave step taken, smells the air of respect, waits for that thunderous applause with baited breath... And waits.... and what the hell, opens his eyes to find one bespectacled queen of eden staring down his face, aghast at the last few words of his speech... "Urm... so, you're not eating at all today, eh?" He says, with utmost dismay, "Like duh... yeah, what was i babbling all this while?" "But it's not the right way to do it" she says.
Ab Bolo, jab na karun to waat lagta hai, aur karun to sau log aur waat lagate hai.
I know, crash dieting is not the way to go. I'm no Kareena Kapoor. These are just testing waters. This is just the beginning. So, miss bespectacled queen of eden, worry not. I shall not do anything that shall displease thy domain.
The whole day is spent in curious looks at his side and when at the end when she couldn't stand it for longer, gave fat-man a long pep talk and the whole don't be a fool and start eating thing. Tempted him with liqueur chocolates (bad bad bad girl... Satan has started polishing his chair for the rightful heir), maggie and what not. Alas! dominant will of MAN survived and the evil seductress could not charm him into her trap. But he does thank the seductress for showing some genuine concern and some valuable pep talks. He also wishes her the best for kicking the butt.

Yes, as promised he did have dinner, lovely Veg. Clear soup mommy dearest prepared and veg. raita. Nothing i don't like. Its all to easy presently. Though he dreads phase 2, which is diet plus exercise. Lets see how that goes.

PS: Children stop over reacting, i'm not sucidical and will not do anything foolish. If you can't support me, at least do not tempt me. I'll respect that.

Also, about my single status: Hmmm... he wonders if the whole seductress thing was an oppertunity... hmmmmm...

Stay tuned for more updates... Chao!