Shortcut to Mushrooms

As you already know, I have decided to do something about this excess flab and being single. Firstly, here's a report on the former:

Beta no girl will marry you! Beta if not for anyone, do it for yourself. Beta, paet atle bimari nu mothership. Beta...... ohh shhuut the fuccccccccccccccck up! arrrrrrrggggggghhh!!
Multiply this feeling into seven years and then tell me how loud should my scream be. Actually it's vice versa too. Since this is regarding my father, I have been a very noble kid and tried to sympathise and sometimes empathise with the state of his mind. After all, my father had an adipose infested monster as a son on whom the innumerable man hours invested at this evenly rounded heir, just bounced off the thick walls of fat (heavily fortified that). Love you dad. Never gave up on me that man. God bless. But, aaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh! doesn't he get the point?
The point is that i never really found the motivation to carry on with this thing. But things changed this morning. I woke up with a dream, and things just fell into place. In a matter of seconds i knew exactly what had to be done.

Anyway this good noble beta has finally answered his father's 'constant vigilance' if i can call that and decided to finally do something about it. Yes, the beta is now on a diet. He woke up this morning and decided it was D-Day. A marched off, like he'd been preparing for this from ages, head high in the air, nose trying to hide deep within him avoiding the morning smell of breakfast, with grit and determination, tells his mommy dearest his plans and taadaa, just like that stops eating everything that could be fattening. He storms into office expecting nothing to hamper his boyish spirits and reveals the master plans to his up close and personal colleagues. Once done, he boldly closes his eyes, pride seeping in at every moment of the brave step taken, smells the air of respect, waits for that thunderous applause with baited breath... And waits.... and what the hell, opens his eyes to find one bespectacled queen of eden staring down his face, aghast at the last few words of his speech... "Urm... so, you're not eating at all today, eh?" He says, with utmost dismay, "Like duh... yeah, what was i babbling all this while?" "But it's not the right way to do it" she says.
Ab Bolo, jab na karun to waat lagta hai, aur karun to sau log aur waat lagate hai.
I know, crash dieting is not the way to go. I'm no Kareena Kapoor. These are just testing waters. This is just the beginning. So, miss bespectacled queen of eden, worry not. I shall not do anything that shall displease thy domain.
The whole day is spent in curious looks at his side and when at the end when she couldn't stand it for longer, gave fat-man a long pep talk and the whole don't be a fool and start eating thing. Tempted him with liqueur chocolates (bad bad bad girl... Satan has started polishing his chair for the rightful heir), maggie and what not. Alas! dominant will of MAN survived and the evil seductress could not charm him into her trap. But he does thank the seductress for showing some genuine concern and some valuable pep talks. He also wishes her the best for kicking the butt.

Yes, as promised he did have dinner, lovely Veg. Clear soup mommy dearest prepared and veg. raita. Nothing i don't like. Its all to easy presently. Though he dreads phase 2, which is diet plus exercise. Lets see how that goes.

PS: Children stop over reacting, i'm not sucidical and will not do anything foolish. If you can't support me, at least do not tempt me. I'll respect that.

Also, about my single status: Hmmm... he wonders if the whole seductress thing was an oppertunity... hmmmmm...

Stay tuned for more updates... Chao!

Gibbers

Fat Man has got holes in his pockets. He just went on a mind numbing trip to the eternal holiday destination, Goa and managed to spend more than the cost of a return ticket to Singapore.

There is something about Goa and pocket holes. The last time he was there, he coolly got mugged and ended up spending twice the amount he intended to. This time round he wanted to play safe, be the smart one. Managed to spend exactly how much he earns in a month. Yes, he blew up his entire salary within the first week of the month. Needless to say Fat Man starts dieting and cutting down on carbs very soon.

Anyhoo, he needs motivation to cut down on his excessive flab ( Yeah i know fat-man is all cool and hep but i think he's nearing a cardiac arrest sooner than he intends to be dead). He's stopping all packaged food and eating out completely starting today. Lets see how long he can get this thing going.

In other news, I think he's had it with being single and intends to do something about it soon. Seems like he's going to have to work on his 'Magic' thing now (no the 'magic' thing is not what you perverts are thinking about, that's working fine thanks). Wonder what it is. But he'll find it and work his charm on it. He's also confused about certain developments in his life. Needs some clarity. The situation is not desperate but needs attention. He's waiting for the 27th and hopes something that hasn't happened before, happens. Also, just like every other time, the back of his brain is on high alert and is throwing warnings about definate perpetual disappointment. It will be just another day it tells me. It might. After all, its always been just another day. Nothing special, nothing at all.