Firstly, my salaams to the world of bloggers. I am not a blogger at all. Have not read many, and until some time ago, saw no point in the whole process. After all it's an open diary, a foray into my thoughts which were once guarded as 'confidential' NASA files, or like the formula to make Coca Cola. But (I have never liked starting my sentences with prepositions. BUT I think it’s accepted worldwide and there's no point in being indifferent to change. But I’ll try my best not to use them. Didn't i just... oh never mind, lets not try that hard) (moving on from two sentences above) off late i have been meaning to open up. Give the world an insight into yet another mind. So, what will i be talking about? What would be so unique about my blogs that would make you want to read 'em? Will it be rocket science....?
Naah... For starters I’ve named my blog page 'Aye-Mote' (to my firang readers this merely means "oi fat guy/man/boy"). After 22 years of being called that behind my back/on my face, i think it was time i just lived with it. I am Aye Mote. But i am not going to treat it like my own. Aye Mote will be a series of fortunes and misfortunes of FAT-MAN!!! Yes, he's a character and the protagonist of this blog. I also notice that most of you are disappointed already, i know what you're thinking, "He could have chosen to write anything, Big-Man, She-Man, Hanu-Man but no... He chooses to write about Fat-Man. Damn him!” My apologies to the people who are looking for spiritual enlightenment here but...
So before I begin, some quick F.A.Q’s about Fat-Man,
Q1: So, Who is Fat-Man? (Dhan-ta-daan, tanaa tana tana dhadaaan dum dum dum!!)
A: Fat-Man is a 22 year old Content Writer doing a very exciting desk job. He is bold, valiant, funny (see didn’t you laugh after reading that…) smart, high headed, high on energy and passion and has zest for life. Most importantly he’s a man of few words (haven’t you noticed that already…) He is basically all the adjectives that are not meant for stereotypical fat men (you have seen enough movies to know fat people can only be slapstick funny and sidekicks, wearing the worst of clothes to accentuate their curves).
Of course he’s not delusional… Paah! You infidels.
Okay, so he’s fat, he’s just a tad bit defensive, has innate ability to screw things up for himself (like royally) and has never had a girl friend (I do not want comments of 'that’s not the only purpose in life' 'cheer up'. NO Thank You.) But he’s dealing with it, learning and becoming a more socially acceptable ‘robot’. He can be a pain in the prosteriors, and as a very good friend once remarked he’s ‘annoyingly cute’.
Q2. So, he’s a stud, he’s smart and everything you said above, then why has he never had a girl friend?
A. Don’t rub it in.
Q3. So, what is this fat man going to do here?
A. He may fart occasionally (yes the stereotype) but he’s going to tell you about the travails and triumphs of a story not many people write, show or care to know about. He often complains he's not taken seriously and he now plans to take us all on a mind numbing spiritual journey. His pseudo intellect comes after spending years in solace, trying to master the secret and ancient form of Chinese astrology called Feng Shui (Pr. Fung-Shway or Fung-shwee), a name that should not be spoken after dark, and in front of infants.
Q4. If no one cared enough, why would they now?
A. Dude! Just read further, smarty pants.
Q5. Okay finally, are the blogs going to be this long? How often are you updating it? Can I have your autograph?
A. Aarrrggh! Couldn’t you have just made it question six to nine? Scum. Anyway, (question 1)Since I am a man of few words, I will always try to keep it crisp and to the point. I’ll try my hand at long blogs on popular demands. (question 2) I may also not update my blogs very so often as as stereotype also suggests, fat men are extremely lazy, and las but no the least,
(stupid question)…And… What the....???
Anyway, here’s where I end it. I hope you enjoy your journey with me. The best way to enjoy my blogs would be to shove your judgemental selves up your respectable Fannies. Since blogging is about sharing one's thuoghts it might appear that i am venting or bitching but believe me, those are exactly the intentions. So, before we lose the train of thought, lets regroup For I have a lot to say and Fat Man’s all set to get medieval on you lovely fellows. Sayonara!
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5 comments:
'A tad bit defensive' my ass, you make the great wall of china seem like a kindergarden project.. anyhoo.. still interesting enough entry, lets see how this goes...
FAQs are an interesting idea. Brings 'you' out quite well, I think.
BUT,(you recognise the preposition eh :P)... but, what? I forgot. I think it was an excuse to begin a sentence with the said preposition.
Looking forward to more aye mote. Bring it on!
who ON EARTH called you annoyingly cute??!!
I liked.Mooahahhahaa @ "Aarrrggh! Couldn’t you have just made it question six to nine? Scum."
Will be tuned in for further Aye-Mote updates.
On behalf of all well rounded people I would like to point out to Mr. Mote , that it is in fact, a sign of prosperity to possess a round form. Not to mention it has the best symmetry. In other news, it was an interesting read. Hope to see more fat and non fat rantings.
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